Why are we all such bullies?

The title of this article makes for uncomfortable reading, but it is true. We are all bullies and we are also all guilty of the abuse of neglect because to date there is no known human being that is or has been perfect 24 hours a day, seven days a week their entire lives. We get frustrated by everything that doesn’t go our way or that isn’t done in a way that we understand. We automatically get annoyed at the very least by anything that seems unfair or that simply does not suit us.

Like all species on our planet we are all bullies when we want something done our way. We justify that behaviour with an endless stream of ethical reasons which are do not hide the truth at all and throughout it all we snap at each other. We get vicious with others when they won’t stop and think about what they doing to us that upsets us. Worse still, we do these things as part of our daily routine to establish who is in charge and we do it most to those who have helped and supported us the most too.

To psychologists this highlights two unshakeable truths. We are an animal species which, in common with all species on our beautiful planet, fight for our own survival. In the small scale of things the bickers and squabbles over minor things like who’s turn is it to do the washing up do not matter. We are merely establishing who is taking responsibility for what for that hour, day or week. We’re for the most part, more often than not brilliant at doing that in our own homes without too much fuss... most of the time.

In our working lives it becomes a bit more frustrating if you are never given the opportunity to do anything else but make the tea and wash up for everyone else unless you happen to enjoy those roles most of all and some do as they usually get more thank-yous for doing that than anyone else gets for anything else. We argue to establish a hierarchy just like all other animals on the planet, except that they are far more accepting of where they fit best and we do all manner of things to prevent our fellow human beings from ever finding out where they fit best or what they are or could be good at.

This is very silly of us indeed because we also know that those who take on the responsibilities of vast numbers of people suffer from stress, a known cause of mental illness. Luckily most of them do not stay in their lofty positions for more than a few years before they have a change of scene to rest up from all the pressure placed upon them – some though are gluttons for punishment in that they are addicted to fixing things for everyone else... a bit like medical teams really.

It is fortunate that most people do not want and do not enjoy that level of responsibility so why bicker about it at all? Why not share the load instead and work together instead of against each other so that everyone does have the role (or rather roles) that they love or come to love best?

Leaders often want a rest from leading so, doesn’t that imply that everyone could get a chance to try for leadership if they want to enough and work hard enough for people to want them above all others to lead? And it’s the same with fame for just about any human activity... be imaginative, you don’t have to be famous for being a singer, good or bad. Nor though do you have to be famous for being a prat or a dangerous person to others. Choose you ambition according to what will make you happy without causing distress to others.

Primary Schooling

We can never entirely escape our most basic primary instinct which is to succeed and survive as the fittest of all. Therefore the process of bickering (not back stabbing) is set to repeat until the end of time itself. This may sound very grim until you step back from things a see that as a species we do survive and do it rather well overall, except for a few wars and long standing habits of abuse to taint our otherwise very good record.

Perhaps we cause the most damage by becoming envious of others around us which is a foolish thing to do as we actually know so little about what their lives are really like now or have been like as we are not with them every minute of every day. We are even less equipped to know what others make of the same things we are witnessing or experiencing. We resent people who are successful and seem determined to bide our time waiting for the day when they are feeling ill, or have been injured or abused or just not on top form to pounce and push the proverbial (and sometimes actual) knife in, just so that we as individuals get our share of revenge for our own perceived suffering and, if lucky an opportunity to become top dog or - in medical terms - the Alpha leader for a bit.

The irony is that we each stand a much better chance of running things  to lead others by working together and most of all by actually helping those we dislike the most! Psychologists across the globe have also realised that the most successful people in the world have often suffered abuse themselves. Think of Nelson Mandela, Ghandi or Rosa Parks as examples. It is their life stories that inspire us most because they work through their troubles by using their heads to rule their emotions, but they do so without ever losing their sense of compassion for anyone else.

We are not just bullies or abusers - that is only part of what it is to be human. We are diverse, wonderful and full of creative, compassionate intentions too. We are nurturers, builders and healers; developers, teachers and inventors. It is our species alone that has the guardianship of the whole planet and in order to understand that role we have had to break virtually every rule Mother Nature sets out. In order to save life we’ve learned along the way how we can destroy it, in order to extend life, we learned how to shorten it because if we didn’t know how to kill how would we learn how not to kill?

To safeguard the planet from something bigger than us hitting it that could kill us, we have had to learn how to destroy things. We have learned so much about the building blocks of life itself but have learned the hard way as far  too with many brave souls have died in that endeavour simply by not realising the level of danger they were entering into e.g. Marie Curie who died from cancer in her research to find cures for it. We have risked everything for life itself in the past by not being vigilant enough and through letting our passions and emotions rule our heads. We also kill others who are merely doing their bit to help humanity by never letting them rest enough to think straight, even when they are the only ones who understand enough to help fix things! Talk about jack ass thinking – we have been very good at it, but it’s not anything to be proud of.

Taking up the challenge

So how do any of us stop the worst of our behaviours? The answer should be obvious to all by now... by giving ourselves a chance to think first and act only when we have thought everything through thoroughly we stand a much better chance of improving everything that currently troubles us. From  those who are on the frontline saving lives in one role or another to those right at the top trying to decide what’s best for the largest number of human beings possible and of course the rest of us somewhere in the middle – we all need to play a positive role in order to get things fixed according to where our skills and knowledge best fit.  A house won’t get mended if no one knows how to fix it. Nor can it be mended if people don’t know how to make repairs and it can’t ever be repaired if the family that lives there doesn’t tell anyone it needs help if they don’t know how to do it themselves.

It is not just silly to criticise such people. It is dangerous too and risks not only their health but our own lives to do so. Would you want to be treated by a doctor too tired to know what they are prescribing or too confused by what you or others think is wrong with you? Would you like to be talking to a person about abuse or report any crime to someone who has no training in dealing with them, or who will ignore you? Is it fair though on someone who tries to take you seriously if you are lying or are mistaken in what you think happened or is happening and will not listen to them?

The majority of people strive to be honest and law-abiding most of the time, but as stated in the very first paragraph of this article, no one can be on top form for everyone else 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Give each other time to think and rest to be able to make the right decisions and above all else, never take out your frustrations on anyone you see as being weaker or just wrong. You don’t know what they have been through enough to make such judgements, unless you happen to be part of a mental health team who is finding out or have experienced high levels of trauma in your own life AND worked through them with a mental health team.

Mental health teams, in common with all other medical, social service and community care teams can only ever be as good as the amount of work put in by those they try to help. If you as a patient insist on being lazy about putting any work in to get yourself well then you are not likely to ever get better, are you. In a way, health and happiness come down to if you want them more than the attention you get from being ill. Such attention really is a sad and poor substitute for the real thing but to date there are still many too ill to get very far at all as it can all to easily take a whole life to recover from any serious traumatic event. Some such sufferers over the years have shared their sufferings with us. It is high time we acknowledged a few of them for their sheer courage in just being with us still. We are so very glad and honoured to know you most of all. We think you are awesome.

Introducing the Mindwalking contributors

Time to introduce a few people in the Mindwalking team by initials only to safeguard their well deserved privacy and in the case of medics their off-duty time...

AA, AB, AC, AD, AE...

Get the idea? There is barely a two letter initials-only combination that we in Mindwalking haven’t supported either directly or indirectly as we’ll explain later.  More specifically, our most active contributors include...

AG, SC, AM, AW, JH, EE and an interesting pair sharing the same initials KB. One is someone who cannot move, while the other is a fully qualified doctor in psychology not even in the UK! Then there’s numerous MDs of one description or another, mostly doctors with initials such as DI (who probably fancies themselves as a detective as most physicians do), HI (who is always welcoming), LF (who is always up for laugh), PH (a litmus test, we think), PR (who is bound to enjoy marketing), RM (possibly a doctor in the Royal Marines? We’re not sure but it amuses us all to think so) and counsellors JB, PM (er no, not the UK prime minister... as far as we know, but an interesting idea!), SM, TW and VD!!!?  Moving on swiftly...

Back to the really important people - patients... AG (a different one) AP, AR, BW, CE, CL, DD, FC, HB, HS, JB, KT,  VK, MR, M (and just about any other letter actually), NC, NS, PD, PS, SE, SF, SW,  TC, TJ, TK, TP and even a ZE (to name but a few).

It’s been mathematically proven that it takes just six connections from you to be connected with just about anyone on the planet including... ALL world leaders. It has also been scientifically proven that we are all related to each other too. Er yeah, we’re not always comfortable with those facts either! However, from any and every angle it does prove one thing... it’s the height of human stupidity to be mean and nasty, vicious, vile, greedy or jealous of anyone as those very people might well be helping you to stay alive.

“We can never know who anyone else knows or may come to know. Therefore it makes no sense to be nasty to anyone.”

If you can’t be nice, either stay silent and do nothing at all, or book an appointment with someone who is trained to help even the most violent of people but in that event it’s best try not to attack them if you truly want to be happy and well. If you just want to be violent toward others, you might try phoning the police instead as it’s quicker for you to do it than it would be for anyone else. Professionals will never turn away someone that desperate to NOT be violent and NOT cause harm to others – FACT.

So from all at Mindwalking and beyond... have a safe and healthy December and rest of your life.
We have two more posts for you this month but we’ll see how we all feel in the New Year as it occurs to us that people are rather swamped with theories and medical concerns at the moment. Perhaps everyone needs a rest from even more information about mental health too, not least sufferers from those illnesses.  That is what we at Mindwalking collectively think and believe right now. There are plenty of brilliant sites on the internet though if you feel the need to know more.

Take very good care of YOUR health. Nothing is ever as precious to you than YOUR health unless it is the health of your loved ones. Remember to ask your nearest and dearest what they need rather than what they’d like best, won’t you – there is a huge difference.

We’ll be back on Christmas Eve with a remembrance post. If you are not in the mood for that... well you don’t have to read it, do you?  Stay calm, relax and be well and chat to your GP when you need to and anyone else you come to trust.

Cognitive Addictive Dissonance

The title of this article sounds heavy going, but fear not. We at Mindwalking are here to make it simple to understand.

Part 1: Addiction

Firstly addiction. Let's look at what nearly everyone across the globe does understand about that word. We understand that people who are addicted find it hard to stop doing the things that they have become unhealthily addicted to. We know that when people reach that stage it takes a lot of time, energy and resources to help them cut back and/or stop depending on what that particular addiction is doing to them to make them unwell.

When medical professionals identify one addiction they know all too well that actually people are talking about many addictions. Addictions to abuse require more and more access to power and money for them to be fed. Addictions to drink, drugs are the same as too are addictions to shopping, gadgets and indeed to acquiring knowledge itself. Addictions to speculation, assumptions and getting the wrong end of the stick ARE the most dangerous of all.

In short, that is why the whole planet is in the state it is currently in because it is part of our nature to always seek to find out more. It is also entirely necessary too for our own survival. It's not the question of knowledge should be broken, it is merely the levels that need to be within reasonable, safe and health limits; and when fact hunter you need to go to the source(s) that knows the most if they have time to tell you (such as your government, universities and especially medical teams right now). Sadly the UK's medical team has zero time for casual enquiries at present, so note your questions down for when you have a genuine need to see them.

We have become addicted to criticising more than addicted to praising people or thanking them; harming or ignoring people more than helping or healing each other and worrying, fearing and doubting rather than thinking, enjoying and trusting each other. The solution we hope now becomes obvious to rectify the problems. We follow the instructions to the letter of medics don't we, when we know they are right. Ah... we don't. That is not to say we shouldn't though. We simply need to try harder to do so given everything else that is fretting us all and getting us into a psychological pickle.

In many ways that ought to be enough and this article should end there but it can't for the very simple reason that everyone is affected and involved at the same time precisely because our gorgeous planet that we call home is at risk.

100 years ago we went to war because we all were pretty much in the same state of fear and panic as we are now. What's changed then? Why are we NOT in a global armed conflict now actually killing each other to the point of total annihilation? Quite simply because we have learnt a few more tricks to prevent that globally speaking.

It is thanks to all the boffins and world leaders at the top of the tree and the United Nations that we are not. It is thanks to everybody trading and sharing information globally that we are not. How much longer can we keep that up though if at the same time the same level of panic, worry, doubt, anger, bitterness and general muck-raking continues?

Sustained overloads of information always lead to mental illness and in most cases from there some form of psychosis. Think about that. By worrying we risk global destruction AND individual madness. "Yeah but, come on, look at the situation, how can we not worry?" we hear you cry.

The answer to that is to get busy with more helpful forms of... addiction; but rather than have merely one or two, vary those and add in a couple of new ones when ready which also help you toward getting rid of the harmful addictions too. Neat, tidy and above all simple except for all the days, weeks and years it takes to practise, practise, practise to get it just right.

We have to start at some point though, so why not today for five minutes and try to make it every day, just for five minutes. Next week or next month you might be able to manage ten minutes a day or even a whole day of just finding things to distract you from YOUR worries to enable YOU to function more calmly to combat YOUR addictions and fears. AND NEVER forget to pat yourself on the back when you have achieved something and ignore everyone who says otherwise, except of course... for properly trained medics.

Another helpful trick is to use 'mantras'. Mantras are merely catchphrases to help us remember what's important to us and to help us focus. There are many forms of mantra, there's the ones reminding us of our principles, morals, ethics and values (often coming under the heading of spirituality or laws) and then there are the daily ones - the practical reminders. Making lists of things to try to do is not quite the same thing although they too can help so long as you don't make such lists too long.

Mantras for practical things are the HOW TO mantras not the WHY mantras. (We know why well enough - to survive and be happy and live in peace). The 'how' mantras are things like "I will stay calm," or "I will take my time to get this right." and one of the most important of all is "I will not worry that I do not complete everything today."

Creditors can and DO wait if you tell them when you can pay them and there are many support agencies and legal teams to help you if they don't take your word for it so long as you are NOT lying about your financial situation. A GP on call and having a busy week attending to emergencies can't always pay their bills on time either - do they worry about it? No, they do not (while well at least), so why should we? So long as everyone does get paid it should never be a problem.

The final trick that often people find helps them the most is to focus on the number of things that are still working at all, in part or... most of all that NEVER get altered or fiddled with. You can also count the number of times others around you HAVE tried to support you as it will help your realise how loved and cared for you are by them, even if they snap at you or nag you sometimes or often!

People find it helpful to research facts before assuming the worst while recovering from mental illness. Sometimes though, that can make things worse as they may hit upon sad news too, as many researching their family trees are discovering right now. When we do such things together and look after each other while doing it; although it is hard work it is (generally speaking) a healthy and healing thing to do but only when people really feel they need to do it, never when they are forced to.

If the result of that is to distress people more then that suggests that those around them would best help by not talking about such things near vulnerable people. Talking about health and politics and climate change and conspiracies in public has always happened, it is therefore merely the volume and the passion that is the ONLY thing that has changed. Tone both down and everything for everyone automatically becomes much more manageable.

Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive what? The word cognitive refers to 'thinking'. As ever it's root comes from that 'dead' language that medical teams (among many others) love to use - Latin. They use Latin, not because it's a tradition but because it happens to work so well to help describe complicated concepts quite briefly to save time, so why change it when lives count on it? It strikes us all here that the less we meddle with things that are working the better right now. 'Dissonance' merely means a clash - it might be of ideas, principles, needs and or wants. Many people mislead us all when they say it means 'conflict' as that tends to conjure up ideas of violence for everyone which is far from helpful in our opinion.

Put the two meanings together and we end up with 'thinking clash' - or to put it another way... a problem. WRONG< WRONG WRONG! A thinking clash is what we deal with every day of our lives. "Do I want a cake or a biscuit?" "Do I buy this or that?" "Do I deal with this first or that?"

More crucially it also covers "who needs the most urgent help now?" Which member of your own family, group of friends or work colleagues never gets much attention, never gets thanked. Who gets thanked and praised too much do you think? Is that because of things you don't know anything about?

Without exception the most seriously ill from any ailment do not want endless fuss, monitoring and questions. Nor do they need endless incorrect assumptions, sadly the mentally ill are the only group who never get a break from all of that which explains why 80% of people who suffer one episode of mental illness suffer and more and more. People never stop raking up and abusing them by using the very fact that they have been ill (past tense) against them. We heard rumours that even managers of international charities are not permitted to litter pick on a voluntary basis to help after they've been mentally ill.

With things as they are making donations to charities, collecting money for them is not quite enough to get us out of our global, national or even individual troubles. Any who can do something to help strangers by donating time and skills could well be all we need, so long as they are are prepared to do exactly as instructed. If everyone gave just two hours a month it would be an improvement but realistically we need a few more prepared to give two hours a week or more.

No one should be lonely, homeless, starving or dying of injuries with no medication to keep them out of pain. No one would be either if we all just gave a little more by joining community groups, charities and local initiatives to help. It boils down to what sort of world do we all want to live in. Like anything else, if we want peace and harmony then we ourselves have to put the work in to earn, merit and get it and BE peaceful and harmonious wherever we go and whoever we meet.

We are superb at dealing with thinking clashes and yeah, sure we don't always get things sorted in the right order but the proof that we do sort things lies in the FACT that we are still here; that life continues, that we are not actually in a global war, that people are working on fixing everything by working in teams where they fit best to put their knowledge to the best of use. We are getting there slowly because at least everyone is beginning to be included into every kind of team you can imagine to do their bit. So...

Which team or teams would you fit best in? There are millions to choose from. How about looking for those closest to home first so that you can still have time off with your nearest and dearest and be closest to your own medical team should you need them? It really isn't as hard as people imagine to sort anything at all.

There, and you thought cognitive dissonance was complicated didn't you? For the professional medical teams working in mental health, yes it is but hey... that's they're headache. No one has or is forcing them to work on it are they?

Thankfully psychology, psychiatric and neurology teams are working on it and all aspects of mental health to try to save even more lives and these days, they don't give a fig about who to connect with across the globe to sort it. They used to, but have grown up because they've had to thanks to every mental health patient in the world telling them they've had to (with a lot of help from their supporters of course).

General medicine has been doing the same for much longer, but then it always did have more support. To help ALL medical services, ancillary staff and support agencies to continue to heal us, we just need to tone down on the volume and the aggression, join a group or two to lend a hand. We know that's possible because in two world wars we've done it before when we have most needed to.

To avert a world war or the planet itself dying, all we have to do is... calm down and act... as normal. Best we repeat that we think in bigger type...

"To avert a world war or the planet itself dying,
all we have to do is ... calm down... and act as normal."

"Really? I mean really, Mindwalking team... really? Is that it?"

Yup! Precisely, exactly, absolutely, neatly, tidily... just that. Who would have thought that we had the answer all the time with the phrase "Keep calm and carry on!" (Although if you could manage to help a little with recycling, being polite and cutting down on waste that might help too!)

ALL OUR VERY BEST WISHES FOR A PEACEFUL, LOVING
FESTIVE SEASON.

We hope no one this winter will feel totally alone and it is our deepest hope
and wish that all our readers and contributors are still with us in 2015. 

Oceans of love from the
Mindwalking Team 2014

Postscript: A bit more about the Mindwalking team. All are volunteers - some have mental health problems, some have not. Some are carers, family and friends and some are professional health care workers specialising in mental health and/or other areas. Some are charity workers and some are... people with disabilities who cannot read, write or even move yet over the years we have also included snippets of their stories too. How? Ah well... best to try talking to them yourselves to find that out!

The actual writers are few which remains a shame as we'd still welcome submissions for consideration. If worded carefully enough, it would be just published unaltered but it has to reach and make sense to all our readers at the same time at some level - which is impossible, but we do our best. (Just so you know should you ever fancy a go)!

Finally, feel free to comment. We haven't had one for quite a while now, but then, we've had our troubles and losses too. We never forget our loved ones either and think of them for every article posted. We know that each and everyone of them wanted us to make this a happy, peaceful world as much as we know YOU do too. So... get busy making it happen then! Doh! 

We WILL Remember

This site is a memorial site and always has been.

Those who made are moving on to better help elsewhere.

We hope all those who have worked and still work so hard to save life
and heal it will be remembered for all eternity.

We hope that those who heal increase in number.

We hope that the number of people at risk and suffering from 

mental illness decreases in number.

We hope more people learn to help others 

instead of hinder and damage others.

We hope more people learn the art of controlling their worst emotions.

We hope more people learn to embrace the best of life 

instead of being consumed by the worst of it.

We hope more people learn to fulfil their full potential 

instead of having it crushed.

We hope all will be rich in good health which we believe is the 

only form of riches worth craving and pursuing.

We hope no one will ever be too selfish nor too selfless again.

We hope compassion and empathy engulfs our species and 

dominates its conduct over the next 2,000 years and beyond

We hope our species learns that there are ways to share all that is
good and not be so greedy as to destroy it.
We hope all people learn how to express anger safely without
endangering others in the process.
We hope all people learn to channel their frustrations into
positive, constructive pursuits for the betterment of all.

We hope all who read this enjoy their lives and are permitted by everyone to do so 

without causing harm to themselves or others.

We hope the world will be full of gladness, joys, laughter and hope but 

that it will never forget to aid those suffering trauma from any cause.

We hope that one day the only cause of mental trauma will be caused 

by acts of nature, not of mankind.

To all who read, we at Mindwalking all wish you a very happy, 

productive, caring, sharing, loving life.

Be good to yourself.

THANK YOU FOR READING

Icarus's Tale

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." Albert Einstein

The story of Icarus was about a very clever man who wanted to fly, so he built himself some wings out of feathers. He glued them together with wax and then he tried them out. Encouraged immediately by the fact that they worked he flew higher and higher... and higher until... he flew too close to the sun so that the wax melted and he crashed back down to earth and died. 

"Man is what he believes." Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

None of us are Icarus and yet according to the latest thinking about mental health, we all have the same susceptibility for enthusiasm and obsessive behaviour. Some of this obsessive behaviour though is to our advantage for without it people would simply not be dedicated enough to undertake highly pressurised and responsible roles in their working lives. From health care itself to education, from business (including finance) to security, the list goes on. We admire those who display such commitment in their working lives and very often reward it even within seemingly less vital roles such as acting, sport and research.

At least we do if we approve of the person and don’t see them as a threat to our own status. Icarus was a smart fella to come up with his design for his wings. He must have studied birds, the feathers, aerodynamics and how a bird wing is put together, as well as how it actually worked in order to fly at all. In some versions of the story he is warned not to use wax, in others the warning is simply not to fly too high, lest he fall. Who of us though think about the consequences of a great idea when we’re that excited by it? Who could stop us if we are that determined to continue regardless? 

“A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.” Arabic proverb

This is precisely why people can get sectioned (or committed) under the various versions of the mental health act where the safety of individuals is uppermost. Sadly mental health has a dark history where anyone could be locked away for a single thought, deed or feeling that did not conform to what others wanted. From oppressive regimes to people being subjected to horrendous and barbaric treatment for such things as not paying a debt, having sex with the ‘wrong’ person or even being related to someone who has been in trouble by some means or another.

It is therefore not very surprising that people now fear mental health treatment even now – but here’s some good news. In the UK it takes three people to put a person in hospital. You can refuse to be assessed unless you are a risk to yourself or others and treatments no longer include lobotomies or electric shock treatment (ECT – which stands for Electro Compulsive Therapy) without your consent. In addition you should never be prescribed medications that merely suppress your symptoms for the convenience of the rest of the population because it is now fully recognised that you are distressed for a reason and the aim is to help you cope and overcome whatever it is that has caused the difficulty. Most importantly of all, patients these days are encouraged to talk and discuss their treatment and are asked what things they would like to try to help them get better. 

"A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood." Chinese Proverb

This can only happen though if people are willing to take part in that dialogue and some people, such as those with learning difficulties may not be able to fully understand what is being asked. Fortunately in the UK we have people who are fully trained to even help with that. Why, with all that good news about mental health care stigma persists can seem like a mystery. 

Icarus would not hear good advice and as a consequence he ended up dead due to a tragic accident, he also was not well enough informed to realise what the properties of wax were, even though he must have melted it himself in order to join all those feathers together. It could be argued that he was also arrogant, complacent and conceited, but who of us can ever avoid those traits if we are never prepared to listen to others?

An analogy

A metaphor, or analogy, for Icarus might also be that this is how we can all end up with a mental collapse due to an overload of one set of facts and a shortage of another with which to temper and balance things out. We, in the developed world are in many ways, all at high risk of that with the sheer amount of information buzzing around on the internet and very little in the way of guidance about what is genuine and what is not by way of facts. The same is true of the entire media and that presents a problem with regard to safeguarding our most vulnerable members of our societies.

We are also at high risk from the sheer speed at which things happen, leaving very little time to even hear the warnings over the melting point of wax.  The percentage of people who go to see their doctors complaining of stress are increasing all the time, and depression due to feeling more and more as if we are merely becoming plug-ins to the working machine is also increasing. 

“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” Lau Tzu

The solution is simple... slow down, set your boundaries and take control by taking your time to be able to hear those warnings about the melting point of wax and why one should never fly too high too soon.

Those at the top of their professions are at as high a risk of mental collapse as those who are the most deprived because no one can endure high levels of pressure (be it from levels of responsibility or lack of support) indefinitely without becoming ill. FACT. Work and rest time are important things for all to get the balance that suits them just right. Enjoy relaxing and switching off... it is as vital to your mental well being as contributing and engaging with the world, sleeping and eating well and getting regular exercise. Put your health first always. 

"It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it." Eleanor Roosevelt

The true story

Icarus in the original story was locked up in prison with his father, and it was from prison that he escaped. His father told him to not fly too high or too low. If we relate that to anyone suffering from prejudice we soon realise that once subjected to stigma of any kind, it becomes extremely difficult for find the balance between asserting one’s rights and not saying enough to be able to do so.

It is all too easy to assume that because Icarus was a convicted criminal he deserved to fall to his death, but that presupposes his accusers were right to convict him. If his only crime was to be ill, from whatever cause, can a person be blamed for wanting to escape and take to the sky?

Much depends upon what a person does in their quest for that freedom to take to the skies. That is a freedom that many take for granted – millions crave to have respect and acknowledgement for who they are and what they have experienced for a multitude of reasons and yet they are denied it. If any person was never a danger to anyone but themselves, should they not be forgiven? Should they not merit and deserve consideration, forgiveness, kindness and above all acknowledgement for all their sufferings?

“Only a wise person can solve a difficult problem.”  Akan proverb

If we know our limitations and tell others of them, should that not earn respect rather than ridicule, dismissal and a wariness that can and does result in a lack of trust for their courage to just be honest? We all have our limitations; our faults and errors. As human beings we also all have the habit of allowing our feelings to rule our behaviours, often regretting them only with hindsight. To deny what we feel is to deny being human.

How mentally ill a person is sometimes gauged upon how quickly they can switch from one behaviour (or emotion) to another when asked to do so. Yet all things are relative. If a person has been silenced by society for years, is it reasonable to expect them to suddenly stop once they have found their voice? A sufferer may be extremely proficient at listening when asked to in the appropriate (i.e. respectful) way. Such has been proven through the many and diverse forms of talking therapies. Eventually the hope is that no one ‘flies too high or too low’ for any great length of time as both can result in enduring psychological damage without appropriate and sustained support. Extremes of any kind, including fame and fortune as well as emotional excesses, always need that support.

To be allowed just to be ourselves is difficult for everyone when we all contribute to being judgemental.  The cure for that is to try not to judge others wherever possible and to understand when, how and why we do. We are at our best when we are honest with ourselves and those around us and at our worst when we decide others are ‘bad’ when we know little or nothing about them. If we do not like being treated that way, it’s wise not to respond to others that way too.

Be true to yourselves, but thoughtful of others in the process. That is the road toward the best of riches... inner peace and happiness. 

“Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.” Dalai Lama XIV

Postscript

Three of the team here at Mindwalking have been veering toward mental collapse in the last month alone. The team consists of a mix of people who have suffered from mental illness and medical professionals in the field, notably a couple of up-to-date psychologists which came on board soon after it was launched. Luckily all are being supported and are regaining their health now.

Above all the biggest contributor seems to be loneliness when it comes to people suffering and from that comes isolation which can devastate the chances of recovery and lead to suicide from the simplest of causes. From friends, neighbours, colleagues, employers to  even family members who just watch and do nothing (either out of fear of getting it wrong, or because they don’t want to get involved) the result is the same. No one likes others meddling, but what is so awful or dangerous about asking? You might just find you know where guide that person to get the professional help they need, be a solicitor, a removal company, a financial advisor or indeed medical services who DO understand. The world really doesn’t need to suffer this way.

Finally... note the latest news on how to beat the stigma at the top right hand side of this blog. It can be hard to trust others, it can be hard to speak of painful things, but it really is the only way to ever hope to recover. If one method fails, try another and another, and another for it is only by communicating and finding the right people to do that with that we can ever hope to be happy and well.

Hope is better than the alternative isn’t it? Take good care of yourselves first, but try never to forget the needs of others too.