Three Little Pyrite Pigs

Pyrite is also known as fool's gold and the little pigs we all seem to fall foul of are far from little. In the fairytale wolf tries to invade the houses of three pigs. One house is made of straw and the wolf blows it away to get at the pig inside. The second pig makes his home out of sticks and the wolf succeeds by huffing and puffing in blowing that in too.  The third pig builds his home out of brick, but the wolf cannot huff and puff enough to succeed in demolishing a brick house, so the pig (or pigs, depending on which version of the story you go with) remain safe inside.

Wise Wolves

It's sometimes tricky using metaphors to explain things as the word pig has associations with greed and muck. So one analogy of this simple fairy tale might be that the wolf is a hero forcing the pigs to think more sensibly about what they want from life in order to be happy and safe. In such an interpretation it would be easy to view mental health teams as wolves with their nagging and eternal checks on every aspect of our existence until the time comes when their help is not required. 

No one likes to be analysed in such an intensive way, even if it is for our own well being. The process can and often does encourage us to blurt out everything and dwell on our nastiest memories and worst behaviours and this can result in new bad habits forming; much depends on how experienced the mental health practitioners are. If we are not careful we can become addicts to being ill as it is often easier than fighting the stigma, ignorance and prejudice of the rest of society. 

Luckily the days of ending up in a mental health hospital on anyone's hearsay are gone in the UK. It now takes three people to agree on any one person needing hospitalisation under the Mental Health Act of 1983. All have to be highly qualified. Once in hospital, it is likely to take a team of four or more people to get one patient well enough to return home. They usually include a psychiatrist, a GP (doctor), a psychologist, a Community Psychiatric Nurse and a Social Worker. Other medical staff can include nursing staff in the hospital and a variety of therapists or counsellors. All of them can seem as if they are the enemy with their prying questions which often get repeated by way of checking up on your progress.

Unfortunately there are still old school thinkers about among medical staff, but they are steadily decreasing in number thanks to brave sufferers that refuse to be spoken to as if they are already lobotomised. In all cases staff and patients must be able to 'click' for any treatment to work. Staff cannot help those that 'confess' what they are thinking, feeling or doing that might be at the root of the suffering. No one can, but much relies upon staff listening carefully and thoroughly to what any patient finds so distressing. It is interesting to note that the mentally ill are seldom unable to function at something. However, while we continue to live in a world where the mentally ill are largely unwelcome, few are given the chance to function in society at all.

Pyrite Pigs

For the purposes of this article the pigs are the addictions that we are all susceptible to. They are the behaviours of people rather than the people themselves and with aggressive marketing techniques forever bombarding us all it is little wonder that people become disturbed, confessed, stressed and anxious. They are not little pigs at all, they are huge as there is no escaping them in mainstream society for they govern just about every aspect of our lives. Rather than think of ourselves as pigs, we should be thinking in terms of a 'pig of a problem' to overcome.

According the latest thinking among the good guys and gals of psychiatry (i.e. those that actually listen and work with the mentally ill and not dictate to them), everyone is suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder and everyone is on the autistic scale too. It is just a matter of to what level and over what that can herald problems. One the best ways to illustrate this is to look at what we spend our money on.  

This little piggy is money

In the developed world we shop for our joys quite literally. Here’s a brief list of some of the things we spend our money on in order to reward ourselves to make our lives more comfortable, stimulating and of course pleasurable. 

Food, clothes and shoes, sports, games, crafts, books, specific interests (e.g. the history or mechanics), holidays, relaxation, alcohol, socialising, gambling, donating to charities, clubs and societies, business advice and events, illegal drugs, investments, cars, homes, tobacco, technology and the latest must have thing or experience.

Of these none of these treats are safe in excess.

People who do not have money or very little of it do not have those “cheer up” options. They will also seldom have much in the way of connections to support them by way of family, friends, neighbours or colleagues at work or indeed information with regard to support services which are already stretched. Hence we have all manner of charities and community initiatives to try to save those that would otherwise fall through the nets like a kind of holding pen for when professional support is freed up. It is debatable if it is enough while we remain in a recession especially when so many services have been whittled down to only offer crisis services. All support is also utterly pointless if people’s trust in the system has been betrayed, or if people do not or will not share what troubles them. In a recession, retail therapy is a high risk game to play if you do not stick to a manageable budget.

When any of us are depressed or low in mood our behaviours change to compensate us for being of low mood. Some will look for something to cheer themselves up (called the distraction technique in psychology). This can include an increase in our spending on items we find in shops and on sale on the internet, as well as an increase in our social and work activities. 

In moderation that is never anything to worry about, in excess it is.

This bigger piggy is power

It is surprising how few people even know or have thought of why people turn to alcohol and illegal drugs given how stressful the life can be at times. Put simply they do so to escape their sufferings without thinking about what it will end up costing them health wise, financially and socially with regard to stigma and prejudice. Thereby they end up reducing their chances of ever getting support exponentially. It is often the exact same behaviour that normal people engage in when they are having an off colour day but in excessive proportion; the difference is that that proportion is out of control. Some illegal drugs, such as cocaine can result in a person feeling invincible when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. When we turn to heavy weight drug abuse we are on the road to destroying everything good we already have.

Power can be addictive too. Those who have it generally fall into two distinct categories; philanthropists and do their best to give back to the community, and those who become so addicted to accumulating wealth that they become harmful to our societies and communities while becoming increasingly dissatisfied with everything around them. We often think of the latter as psychopaths or sociopaths but it isn’t the soul domain of the wealthy to be psychopaths. Not being permitted to care about anyone for long enough can result in even the poorest person not caring. Corporate psychopaths are by far the most damaging as they usually care so little that thousands suffer as a result of their business practices which can be brutal, vicious and dictatorial. 

There would be no need to place a cap on any income if it was law that businesses as well as individuals must give back to the community – punishment for failing to do so could be a cap on income and level of responsibility instead of what is currently and commonly the reverse. Surely we collectively have wit enough to make that happen without any need to totally ruin that person’s life forever. Make it compulsory for such people to see a psychologist and we would minimise the risk of millions suffering while and helping them at the same time.

In the middle of rich and poor we have the ordinary folk who get sucked into things they think they need in order to reach the upper echelons of society and who end up having to field the extremes of those at the top of tree and those who are poor, often destitute and above all desperate. Keeping up with the Joneses is a power game.

Everyone makes mistakes but when anyone is disallowed to function sufficiently it leads to resentment, deep unhappiness and ultimately huge problems for the individual, those who know them and for our societies. A maxim from the world of business and industry that is thankfully beginning to catch on is:

 “Look after the others and the others will take care of you”. 

It has been proved and is proving to work. Joseph Rowntree (look him up on Wikipedia) in the 19^th century proved it by not only providing its labour force work, but also homes, education and access to basic health care.

This biggest piggy it the hardest piggy of all - relationships 

If the first pig is money and the second pig is power then the third pig is the hardest and toughest of all - relationships. 


As individuals all of us have a degree of responsibility to correct our own and group behaviours. None of us can do it alone, but together we might be able to make a far happier and fairer world. How and where do we even begin to start? Who and what do we start with?

We start by acknowledging our most basic of instincts is to survive as a species. In order to survive most of us are governed my the desire to have sex and sexual relationships can be the trickiest of all to get just right. Sexual relationships are so complicated that it warrants a separate article. Here though it is enough to note that impressing the person who is the target of our dreams often leads us to shop 'til we drop or push ourselves career wise. Some argue that having many sexual partners is the only way they can be happy, however while that may be fine for them it is seldom fine for all their sexual partners. Promiscuity often causes many long term damage. 

To get any relationship right requires consideration, communication that is clear and up to date and acknowledgement of everyone's right to be themselves. This applies within our social and work circles and most of all in our relationships with our families.

When it comes to relationships is it less a question of “Is it something you can change in that person”, more a question of "Am I being fair to that person?" when tensions run high. Then we need to think about “Do I want to do something about it, yes or no?” Therein lies the key. Do we? For without that desire to consider other people's needs and change for the better nothing can ever change for the better.

This is at the crux of mental health as no medical team on this planet can change anyone. We have to be resolute in wanting to ditch what makes us unhappy in the first place that is within ourselves rather than enter into blaming everyone else. If others are that damaging to you - leave. Get support to do so if you need to.

Next is to identify in precise and minute detail what it is that we want to change about ourselves, then what to and only afterwards comes the how, who to seek support from, when and so on. This process is the same whether we are trying to overcome difficulties in any type of relationship or emotional distress.

We will never stand a cat in hell’s chance to get the formula right while we are bickering and competing for attention or being in anyway emotional. We need to don our thinking hats first, however, often we need another outlet for our emotions first before our thinking hat can sit comfortably without pinching or giving us a headache. 

We need to communicate, calmly, clearly and coherently which sadly is not usually the domain of people who are desperate for help, but the first step toward helping anyone recover is to listen first to what isn’t or hasn’t worked isn’t it? That way we identify exactly what it is that needs sorting. When we are mentally well we are all capable of this. When we are concerned for others we do this whether we are well or not, so it follows that we could be doing this more of the time when we are ill. That little bit of difference can in the long run make the biggest difference of all.

“Where there’s a will there’s a way.” 

There is no person or section of society that is without risk to their mental well being. The latest thinking in mental health circles is that "We are all potentially a car crash waiting to happen.” To put it another way – life’s a lottery and instead of thinking why me, what we should be thinking is why shouldn’t it be me that suffers next? What am I doing to prevent this happening to me or my loved ones? We already do this with regard to many physical ailments, diseases and illnesses, but seldom stop to think about what we can do to prevent the most important organ in our bodies - our brains.

Our brains define who we are and they are the control centre for everything else. If we can master it to adopt a helpful attitude to combat whatever life may throw at us, then wouldn't we also be equipping ourselves to overcome whatever we perceive to be the worst happening? 

Pandora's Box - Tales of denials

In Greek methodology we come across their version of the first woman on Earth, Pandora. As with all religions free will is granted and we find that there is nothing particularly wrong with Pandora except for her curiosity which was given to her by the Gods anyway. 

Women are often thought of as nosey to this day, although if the truth be told, male curiosity is just as prolific, just more acceptable. As human beings we want to know answers in order to be able to know where we stand, know where our boundaries might lie and most of all to know how to function safely and within the laws of our nation (whichever that may happen to be). Our inquisitive natures help us to make all manner of wonders from clocks to clothes and from cures to chaos.

"Pandora's box is an artifact in Greek mythology, taken from the myth of Pandora's creation in Hesiod's Works and Days.^[1] The "box" was actually a large jar (πίθος pithos)^[2] given to Pandora (Πανδώρα) ("all-gifted", "all-giving"),^[3] which contained all the evils of the world. Today, the phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocuous, but that turns out to have severe and far-reaching consequences." 

SOURCE: Wikipedia

Denial is a double-edged sword

This then is an article about the demons we keep in our cupboards, the skeletons that are often best left there, but sometimes it is wiser to face them in order to solve difficulties properly. It is an article about denial which is a term used in psychology to describe an attitude of mind for when we do not wish to face the harsh reality of truth and frequently we do not.

To take a large scale example from present day life, if we look at the .com revolution it very much repeats the industrial revolution of the 19th century. In the current global economic crisis workers are once again working twice as hard for less pay and that's if people are able to secure work. If you are unemployed, disabled or ill in anyway support services that work are once again hard to come by due to demand out stripping supply. It's almost as if we are taking a step back in time without learning anything from our collective history. Some would argue that that is just the way of life and nothing will change it. Those that claim that are suffering from denial because things do change albeit gradually.  

The world we live in is complex. Just as the industrial revolution eventually led to more people enjoying a better standard of living, so too has the .com age to a degree. Those left behind are often far further behind that most would like to realise, admit or face up to.

Change happens gradually for two reasons, the first being that we don't like sudden change as we find it difficult to cope with, and the second is that only a small percentage of people are prepared to roll up their sleeves and campaign tirelessly for changes that are truly for the benefit of all. You can probably name those at the top of those trees for they are all those famous folk who make history and who end up being globally recognised for doing so in the name of peace and well-being. Their reputations are usually untarnished despite many an attempt to discredit them. The reason such attempts are made are precisely because people don't like change especially if it means people giving up the 'perks' that enables them to take advantage of others less fortunate. Behind every famous name though are literally thousands of team workers.  

"Next came the Brazen Age, more savage of tempter and readier to the strife of arms, yet not altogether wicked. The hardest and worst was the Iron Age. Crime burst in like a flood; modesty, truth, and honour fled. In their places came fraud and cunning, violence, and the wicked love of gain. Then seamen spread sails to the wind, and the trees were torn from the mountains to serve for keels to ships, and vex the face of the ocean."

To give one instance of the effects of the .com age, instead of less paperwork we have more which is bad news for trees unless we recycle. Instead of more pleasure time away from computers we seem to constantly plugged in to them or other media gadgets.

When Pandora opened her jar of evils and she was immediately aware of what she had done and was fearful of what would happen next. Rarely is this true of us when we get answers to questions we weren't prepared for. When we ask for help and it is delivered in forms that we are uncomfortable with or that end up causing us even more harm we can sometimes end up wishing we hadn't asked for assistance at all. Good intentions can cause the most damage of all when a person's right to choose is not respected. 

This applies as much to those trying to provide support for others as it does to those on the receiving end of that help. This applies too, not only to individuals with their personal relationships, but to all human relationships from business to government departments and all the way to international politics among the world's leaders. It is of paramount importance to listen carefully and never to lie if we either want to help others or are in need of support ourselves. Truthfulness and listening skills are vital to both at all times for no one can help if you lie, nor can you be helped if you refuse to listen when someone has heard you properly. This is an absolute truth because all relationships involve people and all people have emotional responses to everything they encounter in one way or another.

“Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.” - Plato

Sadly we live in an age whereby it is easier and sometimes safer and seemingly advantageous to lie which hardly helps and only serves to escalate suffering of all kinds. 

"The earth, which 'til now had been cultivated in common, began to be divided off into possessions. Men were not satisfied with what the surface produced, but must dig into its bowels, and draw forth from thence the ores of metals. Mischievous iron, and more mischievous gold, were produced. War sprang up, using both as weapons; the guest was not safe in his friend's house; and sons-in-law and fathers-in-law, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, could not trust one another. Sons wished their fathers dead, that they might come to the inheritance; family love lay prostrate."

It took two world wars to get to the point we are at now, let's hope it doesn't need another global conflict to turn the corner on our current dilemmas and present conflicts. With the .com age we have gained an 'awareness' and in counselling terms, "awareness is the first step." What we do with that awareness is critical to our futures. The difficulty we face now is avoiding overloading with so much information that we have no time to absorb or see what is actually good and is working before we make a blunder and muck it all up again. 

When we tell the truth, we do not have to share everything with everyone, merely what is relevant to that particular relationship at that particular time. It's how we can help ourselves to stay safe. 

"Do not trust all men, but trust men of worth; the former course is silly, the latter a mark of prudence." - Democritus

Three simple words

What is true of things on a global scale is also true for any individual. Any difference of opinion, thought or belief should just been viewed as just that - a difference. If as individuals we can accept that we will not always agree on everything it opens the doors to better and more amicable communication. If we can all remember that one difference due to experiences of life never being identical even for identical twins then there is hope that respect for other peoples' perspectives on life will be established. How many differences can you tolerate before you decide to break off a relationship? If you do choose to break ties, how would you do so in an amicable fashion? This is far easier for individuals to manage than it is for governments, but if all individuals did manage it would it not also be far easier for governments to do the same?

In some instances it is better to cut ties immediately, such as any form of abuse - hence why we now have the United Nations and bans on trading with tyrannical regimes as and when they will help prevent suffering of the people of those nations. On the individual scale, in the UK we have refuge homes for victims of domestic violence which are kept secret except to those who MUST know in order to protect abuse victims.

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." - Epictetus

For many who are mentally ill, the ethics of how the world functions and their frustrations in it not being more humane can figure so large that recovery is not viable and only management of their stress and anxiety levels is ever feasible. This particularly applies to those who have been in position of power or authority; or have work professionally in health and social care. Management of such conditions usually ends up being via long-term if not permanent medication regimes. In effect we live in a world where to care about it too much can result in being forced to take medications to silence you or switch your brain off, often by request of the sufferer themselves as no one individual can fix the planet and all it's problems.

Learning how to deal with life in a non-confrontational, amicable and stress-free fashion is largely what is at the centre of all the talking therapies that have been proven to work. Interestingly, though perhaps not surprisingly, here in the UK our Head of State her majesty Queen Elizabeth II has a team of mental health professionals on tap. They are there not only to ensure the health of herself and her family, but to safeguard a nation and hopefully help guide the Commonwealth which she happens to be head of too.  Perhaps all governments should employ similar departments in the future, perhaps... many already do. 

"Nothing is more active than thought, for it travels over the universe, and nothing is stronger than necessity, for all must submit to it." - Thales

In any one day as human beings we are privy to huge amounts of information regardless of what social status we happen to be born into or achieve. On the one hand we are swamped with information, on the other there is little or no time to analyse it enough to understand anything completely. One of the core aims of counselling as a talking therapy is to help people to focus upon what is working and what we have in our lives that is of meaning and pleasure to us.

Nothing is or can be as valuable or as meaningful as close personal relationships but getting to form them with so much misery, misunderstanding and worry is hard work; doing so when isolated from mainstream society can be one of the hardest and longest battles of all. Three vital words to adopt and to help us are "please", "thank-you" and "sorry" in any sort of relationship at any level.

Ideally the word 'please', should be used instead of abusive expletives when we want something; but frustration at not being heard can soon turn to anger to make it all the harder to maintain control of our reactions. The word 'thank-you' is in psychological terms a validation and acknowledgement for things that DO help so long as we never use it when we don't mean it. Without the use of this word we can only ever be guessing that we are doing any good at all. If we fall silent and never thank anyone, how can anyone know if any shred of their efforts is helpful?

Hardest of all is the word 'sorry'. It can be said without it being meant at all and then it becomes a lie that can obliterate all trust and hope. Even when an apology is meant it can seem that it isn't because unless the person apologising can correctly and accurately identify what they are apologising for it can feel virtually useless and a complete waste of time to then become a seed of future frustrations. Full understanding (or as detailed an understanding as possible) can only occur when we truly comprehend another's plight which requires detailed information devoid of assumptions and lies, a leap of faith in the trust department, courage and hope. That's never easy if you have ever been maltreated.

“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realise how little we understand about life, ourselves and the world around us.” - Socrates

These core values are present (or absent) in all our relationships with other individuals to varying levels at any given point; be they relationships with family members, children, friends, neighbours, colleagues at work, clients, suppliers, regulatory authorities or support services. They are the foundation stones to our well-being regardless of who we are or what health we enjoy. We cannot enjoy good health unless and until these foundation stones are thoroughly cemented in and built upon and it is hard work to not only establish them, but to maintain them too. 

Practise, practise, practise is the only way to achieve this but things are made all the more challenging when we are constantly reacting to life and what it throws at us - that is a constant that never changes. However, if human beings have the ability to dwell and fester on the negative aspects of life then we also have the capacity to focus on all the joys it brings too. Concentrating on one or the other will only ever make you ill and in the long term unhappy so a balance between the two is the theoretical ideal, as we cannot solve what we do not face. In many respects Pandora was right to open that box/jar of demons as otherwise we would never have been able to recognise or amend our faults.

Remember that a difference of belief, opinion, thought, behaviour or emotion is just that a single difference. We have the right to choose to stay in a relationship or walk away from one if only for a 'time-out' type of break. There is no law to say you cannot or should not start afresh with the same people you've walked away from yesterday at some future date, is there? If there is a recipe for getting relationships right it must surely be to decide upon how many disagreements will result in it not being worth our while continuing with that relationship at that point if all communication attempts to resolve difficulties fail. It may be one major difference if someone decides to use physical violence against you. It may be dozens or hundreds of little niggles for someone who merely expresses things in a way you dislike but their deeds outweigh and outrank their words enough for you to want to stick with them longer.

Perhaps the greatest difficulty of all for those suffering from mental illness is the feeling of isolation. In our sophisticated 21st century world it is nigh on impossible to be left in peace to live alone if one wants to have food to eat as our social structures involve either having money to buy food already grown, land to grow it or for people to not mind 'vagrants' living off the land by foraging for it.

You do not have to live alone to be isolated though, you can be awash with company or acquaintances who are all too busy to have time to support you. It is pointless to gauge or measure who suffers most as suffering should never be viewed in terms of a competition any more than who is financially better off. As one of our contributors has put it elsewhere, "pain is pain not a competition and whenever we view it as such we automatically escalate the problems and distort matters by diverting away from what needs to be addressed." We live in a world that has to prioritise suffering to be able to offer the most vital support immediately for those who are at crisis point first.

"Men would live exceedingly quiet if these two words, mine and thine, were taken away."  - Anaxagoras

Prevention of any and all reaching a crisis is always going to be quicker, cheaper and less time consuming than any cure. Perhaps governments will one day encourage much more investment in preventatives for mental health than has so far been tried. It is wise to seek help from your GP (doctor) early on, but if you then refuse to act on their advice, are you not in fact making it harder for yourself? Then again, are you sure you cannot think your own way out of stress, anxiety and depression without causing harm to anyone else or yourself? Have you tried? Some people can succeed in this, while others cannot. Why that is, we just don't entirely know yet. Most likely is it a combination of genetics and environment as neither can be separated from the other.

Much of our well-being comes down to a mixture of choice, will power and respect for others in terms of priorities. It is a matter of learning to set your own boundaries and limits for what is acceptable to you in realistic terms with regard to your well-being; and to do so without imposing or demanding preferential treatment unless experiences and highly qualified medical teams deem that it is necessary. All things end up being a question of understanding. Sadly the most in need will allow others to jump the queue time and time again for any and all support. For systems to work for our individual and global well-being we all need to take much more responsibility for opening a lid on our own demons in the jar as they can often end up causing harm to innocent parties including of course our own children.

There is never any harm in asking for support, but always be careful about what you wish for - wish and work for your own health above all else. Do what you can to prevent yourself either becoming ill or minimising the effects of illness just as you would over your physical health. Knowledge is power, but only if you use it wisely - it is better to ignore what is not useful with regard to your mental health. We are fortunate indeed that we live in an era whereby corruption and cruelty of every kind is distinctly going out of fashion.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle

The Emperor's Clothes

The story of the Emperor's new clothes is this: An Emperor is conned into buying the most wonderful new suit of clothes by a couple of con merchants and none of the Emperor's entourage has the courage to tell him that actually there is nothing there. The clothes are not invisible, the do not exist. The only person who is brave enough to say so is a small boy, and more or less, that is where to story ends depending on which version you read.

If we translate that into our real world the Emperor could be an organisation, an employer, a powerful or influential person, a boss, a parent or just someone everyone else adores. The small boy would be anyone of disadvantage and/or anyone who just, out of sheer innocence or ignorance of what the Emperor believes, speaks out. When we talk about such Emperor's in the real world though, these clothes are not new at all.

"An error does not become truth by reason 
of multiplied propagation, nor does truth 
become error because nobody sees it. " 
Gandhi

1. Imagine if you will, that you are being bullied at work.

2. Imagine you are being stalked or suffering from physical, psychological, sexual or financial abuse. 

3. Imagine you have a brilliant solutions for a problem.

4. Take another scenario that you fear that someone is at risk of committing suicide and you are a child that no one will listen to.

5. Imagine you are unemployed and your benefits have been stopped for no legitimate reason.

6. Imagine that you have not been paid your wages by a multinational company and you are of low rank in the organisation.

7. Imagine that you cannot not communicate and/or have no communication devices and you have serious problems that you need help with.

8. Imagine that you are starving or homeless.

9. Imagine you are stranded and do not know where help is to be found because there is no information or signposts to it.

Now imagine you are any of the above and have (or have had) a mental illness that you openly tell people about. What do you think your chances are of being heard properly or taken seriously are?

British Law changed in October 2010 by way of the Equality Act. The Equality Act seeks to eradicate ALL prejudice without any indication as to how it is to be done. It may now be illegal in the UK, but it supplies no indication of how it is to be upheld. The only way to find out is to enter into a long winded, expensive and extremely stressful litigation action. (You take the culprit to court) where your opponent still has the advantage because it usually has the money and the contacts to discredit you totally - hardly fair, hardly just.

There are numerous organisations out there that can help in theory, but alarmingly they have all been hit extremely hard by recent cuts from the government, they include: Mind, Rethink, ACAS, Citizens Advice Bureau and even access to legal aid has been cut. Good intent can be far more damaging than the most malicious of intentions if it is not properly implemented and thought through.

The process is made all the more difficult when it is a powerful organisation or government department, e.g. a bereaved person on benefits that I know of was subjected to stoppage after stoppage after stoppage for two years with no reason. When they finally got an appointment to sort it out at a job centre, the member of staff said "Yes, gosh, it is in a mess isn't it? But I haven't got time to sort it today and I'm on holiday for month tomorrow." It took two years to get it sorted via the Parliamentary Ombudsman (you need to go via your MP for that) and the outcome was: that the DWP was at fault but that as the person was bereaved it didn't merit any compensation, not even so far as their credit rating being restored. 

As indicated in my article of last month, even the health care sector itself has insufficient safeguards and knowledge of how to prevent mental illness among its own staff and if that is the case then what hope is there for anyone else understanding the need of the mentally ill to be heard and more to the point, understood and helped?

There is something very important to consider here...

10. Imagine that you are so mentally ill that you are imagining any of the above.

Therein lies the nub of the problem when it comes to providing support for anyone with signs of mental illness and sadly there are people who will lie to get what they want even at the expense of honest folk e.g. women who pretend they have been raped who in my opinion, need psychiatric intervention in addition to a prison sentence. Fortunately such cases are rare but because they exist at all it causes damage in the form of genuinely distressed and desperate people not being heard and not being helped, whether they are in need of a living allowance, need of an advocate such as a lawyer or need of a doctor's appointment.

However, I would rather risk the occasional fraudster receiving support than risk a genuine person in need ever going without it as it literally costs lives and seriously jeopardises their chance of anything like a quality of life. This includes taking someone seriously to begin with even when you suspect they are imagining things or lying. Why? Because if you don't you might be wrong and there are ALWAYS ways to corroborate the truth. There are always evidence to prove or disprove anything. 

You do not have to be mentally ill to be treated unfairly, but once you have been so treated the likelihood is that you will be mentally ill for a very long time with all manner of trust issues if nothing else.

I am currently off work with work related stress and our Human Resources Department expects me to attend an Occupational Health assessment while I am ill. If I was a scaffolder with leg in plaster this would not happen and during such an absence the cause of the accident would be investigated and the risk reduced. Not so when it comes to stress at work which in itself is a form of mental illness. What is worse is that anyone with any mental health history has it continually raked over, dredged up as soon as they mention they are unhappy. Everything about that person is in question.

If a ‘normal’ person were to be subjected to the same treatment, then (call me crazy for this one), but I have a hunch they would end up with serious mental health problems. We will never prevent mental illness when the world continues to rake up everything that is painful to ANY individual. 

And what of the little boy who shouts that “the Emperor has no clothes!” sadly, whether you are mentally ill or not, if you don’t have means and you don’t have solid connections the reaction will most likely be one of resentment and intense wrath. No one likes it when it is pointed out that they have been foolish, far less those who have power. When that is done so publicly, as it is in the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes, and indeed in real life throughout the media, then guess what? The Emperor suffers mental anguish as a result i.e. mental illness.

"The most potent weapon of the oppressor 
is the mind of the oppressed." 

Steven Biko 

I have always advocated that anyone with a mental health history who wishes to speak out needs to do so anonymously to protect themselves, particularly when they are low, are poor and when they have no one to defend them. I’d like to update that. I would now highly recommend that for anyone who is not in a position of power with regard to any situation at all.

The real world is a troubled one. It is riddled with hypocrisy and it only takes a few, a very few to spoil this beautiful planet of ours. So it is wise, if not essential to be cautious, to be wary and if that means you need to be paranoid to keep yourself safe from harm, then be that too, but still speak out or we can never hope to rectify anything at all – just do it safely.

Take your time to trust people, choose your words carefully and your tone of voice and wherever possible only speak out about your issues when you are calm, fed, well rested and when the emotions are largely out of the way first so that you can think clearly enough to communicate. “We are never in control when we are angry” is something I have been reminded of recently and how true it is.

The exception is the professional teams who are there to help you (when you find a good one). With them write down what you need. Write down what you do not need. And only afterwards write down what has happened. That way you will begin to understand how to fix whatever it is that has gone wrong.

We can never remedy anything without facing it and we all make mistakes but it is very much what we do about them and in the how we fix them as well as who helps that really makes the difference. A former GP of mine said, “Do not dismiss support from unlikely sources as just occasionally they can be the very thing you were looking for.”

Luckily my new doctor is turning out to be fabulous, so fabulous in fact that he promises to read this blog site and being head of the practice, he’s already had a word with the receptionist that I found so exasperating. So you see, you can get help if you are prepared to want it enough and fight for it enough. Though I must say, it comes to something when you have to know more than those who are supposed to be experts, (not that it applies to my new doc).

But what of the little boy in the story? What can he learn? He would be far safer to say “Is the Emperor wearing any clothes? Where is the proof?” And to do so privately, or send a note to the Emperor although even that may all to easily result in terrible retributions. Far better then to ensure that he has people to defend and protect him first before saying anything at all.

"We think sometimes that poverty is only 
being hungry, naked and homeless. 
The poverty of being unwanted, 

unloved and uncared for is 
the greatest poverty."
Mother Teresa

I am angry with the world and the older I get the shorter my fuse and the angrier I get with all it's very human errors which I make too because I am product of this world just as much as anyone else - but I refuse to take the blame for all it's mistakes on my own. I own up to mine and do my best to rectify them as soon as I can. Why doesn't everyone? It amounts to about 200,000 thousand years of human errors so far according to the Smithsonian Institute, somewhat shorter if you believe in God but its still between 2-6 thousand years. The trouble with anger is that it ultimately only ever serves to destroy those who are angry. The remedy to that is never to act when one is angry but to let those feelings run their course away from others and subside. If there is a God then surely we should focus on the ethics and not the origin of our species to get the recipe right, because either you cut it ethics is the key to us all being able to co-exist peacefully.

I can only hope that all Emperors (and Empresses for that matter) have the good sense to listen to small children some day and that that day will be very soon for all of us. I hope too, and firmly believe that honourable people will always say thank-you, sorry, make amends and recompense those injured of their own volition and will do so privately for what is their part in causing such misery and suffering. What is so often the case is the errors made are nothing more than a silly, petty error of judgement which we all are and can be guilty of. When all is said and done, it is the con men that pretend to be tailors beyond compare that ought to be reigned in, if not punished... is it not?

We are all complicit when allowing the con men of this world to get away with their villainy - the courtiers, the general public and the little boys who see the truth but say nothing. High time I think, that the whole world stopped and thought about what advice it is actually seeking, who from and why they are seeking it; as well as what its aims are, and how to sensibly and above all, safely, proceed.

"The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
Gandhi

I could cite hundreds of pearls of wisdom if not thousands from around the globe, from every century, from every culture, race and religion and age group on this planet but I'll close with this final quote from a man that managed to save three lives that we know of. Just three but if we could all do that then there would be no unnecessary anger or deaths. We can never eradicate death or suffering. People die of natural causes, from disasters as well as from malicious intent and silly errors but we can certainly minimise the risks if we keep fighting to get that little bit closer to increasing compassion for those that are left behind trying to fight. With compassion comes a little bit more sense, a little bit more humanity and above all else... HOPE for absolutely everyone.

"Let's work the problem people. Let's not make things worse by guessing." Gene Kranz

I have a hunch Gene Kranz's words have just saved a few hundred more lives... if not more.

PS: I have to confess that the last three articles in particular have had a lot of input from others for me to be able to write them. Sadly I have, since writing this article learnt of someone who is so traumatised by the DWP benefit system that they are selling their belongings to get money to buy food as they refuse to go back on benefits. I used to be proud of being British, today I am not. 
I would particularly like to thank an anonymous retired psychologist in Australia for their support at this time, not least for giving me the courage to continue to write. As before, early signs are America is reading and the UK is disinterested. OK it's a bigger country, but this is a UK problem right? Or is it quite possible global?

Please do not expect me to blog for a while... I feel the need to rest, but if it's that important...

Thank you for reading and caring enough to do so.